Regret 

This photo below was taken in the year of 2015. I was super popular and I was making funny videos. I made it to 9gag! I had almost a 1000 followers on Instagram. I was making a lot of friends and a lot of fans and then suddenly I found myself entrapped in this stupid relationship with my ex boyfriend that I left it all. I deleted everything for his stupid sake because he told me that I was too funny and I made too many jokes and it was ridiculous because it was very ‘unlady like’. My friends also treated me no better. I got so lost and confused that I deleted everything for his sake. I deleted my Instagram. Well, that dumb relationship never lasted for long and I regret everything. I regret not being me. I want to be ME in every realm of my life :- work, personal , family and with friends! I don’t understand what’s wrong with that! I Just want to be me! I’ve learnt things the hard way but yes I’ve realized that certain things – keep it to yourself and don’t be overboard with anything but then again, never lose yourself or your personality

Short Review : Music- Nelly Furtado : All Good things come to an end

So this song by nelly furtado used to be my every-relationship-got-over-crying-song.


Not anymore though, now I just giggle at my silliness…Nevertheless
 the lyrics are deep.

 

The opening of the song starts with the fact that life is dandy and it goes on with the following quote that states,

“…We are what we don’t see
Miss everything day dreaming
Flames to dust,
Lovers to friends,
Why do all good things come to an end?”

…Makes you think about all of those moments where things never went as planned in your life.
and yes, I still listen to this song and I still Love the music.

Thoughts : Attachment

Does anyone else have a habit of re-watching, re-listening to the same music and the same movies again and again? I do. I have a habit of re-watching and re-listening to the same piano melodies, to the same movies again and again. I don’t let go off things easily that has been done in the past. I even HATE replacing old handbags with new ones and replacing old phones with new ones. I have this certain kind of attachment that I develop with my accessories. I only let my old handbags go when my mother and my sister roll their eyes at me and tell me to get a new one and even when I get the new one, I still keep my old bag safely…I feel a little emotional even over using new handbags over the old ones! Haha ! It often leads to comical relief within the household due to my expression and actions over certain things like this …like my bag…
and when it comes to people…I am over to the top emotional and I feel things more than they could and I imagine having a bond with them within my head, very close to what it actually is…and through this imagination…a creative imagination, I get hurt…I get badly hurt…I get very bruised…but I am learning…I am learning…

 

Attachment theories
Photo taken from the web. The concept of Attachment Psychology among Humans with Anxiety 

 One hour Photo 

Has anyone watched the movie, “One hour photo” ? – it has a beautiful yet a disturbing image of people that are lonely…people that want to belong to a family…A disturbing yet a beautiful film on lonely people. I loved it, it makes me empathize a lot more with people that are isolated….May God bless people like Sy and RIP Robin Williams for wonderfully portraying the role of Sy – the photoguy

The need of wanting to love and wanting to be loved. (Photo taken from the web)

Copying Nature 

Walking through the man made escapades that are trying too hard to look like the vast nature is intriguing. It’s very intriguing. It’s also ironic because men keep trying to destroy the beautiful nature as well although they try to build their castles and architecture similar to the entity of the nature. Man is a hypocrite in every form

Architecture of a mall in the city of Dubai

Quotes : Paranoia

Lately, I have come to a vivid realization of pessimism. I’ve realized that I’ve turned into a cynical woman. A cynical woman with depressing thoughts…and there are moments where I get overwhelmed.

I get overwhelmed with my mind…I am cynical of people and their wishes for me. Sometimes, I don’t think anyone cares for me besides my family. Sometimes, I think it’s all about envy and some kind of weird jealousy and I am always anxious. My anxiety gets the best of me. I am scared most of the time, especially when I receive a compliment. I question the authenticity of their compliment – is it because they mean well or is it because out of pure jealousy that they wish something ill happens to me…I get so paranoid that I lose my mind and I cut those people off. I cut many people off. Infact I don’t keep anyone close. I keep nobody close. I am too scared to form friendships. I am too scared to even formulate a contact with someone that could be a potential love-interest as well. I just need nobody. Solitude is bliss I guess, my social life has become nil. I talk to nobody anymore. I am just stuck in my vicious cycle of paranoia, disturbia and anxiety but I am okay. I don’t let anyone damage me anymore because I keep nobody close. Nobody.

Faith in Allah 

“You maybe struggling for help by people around you that had once promised to be around you for the rest of your life but when the time comes and you’re all alone with nothing, people will walk away from you. Only your lord will help you so don’t neglect him. Don’t neglect the lord and he won’t neglect you. God is indeed the most merciful. I had nobody to look after me, no father, no lover, no friends and I was all by myself, broken and devastated in pain. Nobody wanted to be my friend either when I told them about my troubles or even listen to me but the day I devoted myself complaining and asking god for his mercy, the light and the doors of my troubles Opened for me, slowly but surely. God didn’t leave me….when everyone else left me. I would never want to displease my lord ever again.”   

Photo taken from the web : authentic quote from the Quran 

The reality of Islam extremists 

It’s strange how many divisions exist within a religion itself. For instance, I am a Sunni-Hanafi and our school and thinking related to Islam is different compared to those that are present in other countries such as the wahabbis (extremists) school of Islamic thought that come from Saudi Arabia. Actually it’s not even Saudi, different people have different thinking and mindset related to religion. 

Just like Christianity, Islam also has its own school of thoughts. 

You have orthodox, Catholics, Protestants and what not in Christianity. 

You have people that also believe in the KKK just like we have people that believe in ISIS 

We are also divided like other religions, even though we are trying too hard not to but this is the reality that exists. 

I’m only saying this because ignorance related to Islam needs to end and islamophobia needs to end. 

Don’t compare us to extremists! We don’t like them either!

Picture taken from the web : The different sectors of Islam